Life With Sly

Tag: 2025

  • I Still Hurt Sometimes Pt. 2

    I Still Hurt Sometimes Pt. 2

    When I was 20 years old, I thought I found love. Finally. I didn’t have to chase love anymore, because love found me. The best part? I didn’t need God to find it. I didn’t need to follow the biblical rules my family raised me on; I didn’t have to sacrifice the worldly pleasures I grew accustomed to. I just needed my dreams and a go-getter attitude to achieve them.

    As we fast forward to the present day, I can honestly say, I was wrong. I did find a version of love but it wasn’t the love I was looking for. It wasn’t the kind of love that meets you gently in the morning and forgives your bad breath. It wasn’t the kind of love that held your hand when you were nervous while waiting for the test results. It wasn’t the kind of love that wrapped you up in a blanket of peace when the pain of the world brought you to your knees. It was a version of love but it wasn’t God love.

    In 2022, I started to look for God. I experienced a series of unfortunate events at that point in my life and I struggled to find peace. My good friend and some family members suggested that I seek God. They asked “what else do you have to lose?” Nothing. Besides my life, I had nothing left to lose. The first thing I did was watch a sermon on YouTube. As the sermon was ending, I heard a strong voice gently whisper my name. I knew it was God. I knew He was there waiting for me with arms wide open. I found my way home and discovered true love. God’s love.

    Luke 15:6 KJV
    6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.
    https://apps.microsoft.com/store/detail/bible-multi-version/9PPRWS532N91

  • Embracing Vulnerability: A Soul’s Reflection

    Embracing Vulnerability: A Soul’s Reflection

    Awake. I’m awake right now. At this time of day. Wondering what you’re doing and when you’ll come my way. “It’s my first time, ” I think to myself. It’s my first time opening myself up in such a public way. I’m excited, but the excitement quickly turns to despair. Will you like me? Will I say the right things to make you stay? Or will you walk? So many thoughts.

    So many questions that only God and time can answer. Again, I ask, “Will you stay?”

    I ask as if I’ve never asked before. I turn to the heavens and ask God through my broken mirror, “Why did You make me like this? Why did You allow me to suffer so long that I find it so hard to trust?” My thoughts are like splattered paint. Wandering. Moving, according to their own will, and refusing to mold into any interpretable or recognizable image. Then I hear it. I hear Him. God says to me, “Peace, be with you.” He reminds me that I am who He needs me to be. A broken vessel being made new. A light for those who aren’t ready to know Him. I have been perfectly decorated. Shaped and placed to show God’s lost ones where our home is. A torch in the wilderness; lighting the path. Illuminating! I thank God for the peace He’s given.

    And so, I sit here. Awake. I’m awake right now. At this time of day. Wondering what you’re doing and when you’ll come my way.

    John 14:27 KJV
    27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
    https://apps.microsoft.com/store/detail/bible-multi-version/9PPRWS532N91

  • I Still Hurt Sometimes Pt. 1

    I Still Hurt Sometimes Pt. 1

    I’ve walked away from God so many times in my life. I’m not even thirty yet but I’ve walked away from God every few years since the age of 9. You see, I come from a family of baptists. If you know anything about stereotypes surrounding baptists, I’ve already said enough. If not, let me enlighten you from my experience.

    You see, growing up a girl in a black Baptist family meant I was raised to be seen and not heard. I was raised to do as I was told instead of having an opinion of my own. I was taught about sin but only when it was used to shame someone else (but it was acceptable and not considered sin if the person doing the shaming was also living in willful sin). There was a ton of hypocrisy in the church and at home. I believed that nothing I did, said, or believed was right unless it could be used to boost someone else’s ego. This eventually lead me to start doubting God. “If God is real,” I would think to myself, “and He loves me, why is He allowing me to suffer so much? I’m just a kid. I don’t even know how to make myself a meal but I’m expected to understand adults and still be a child.”

    I hated my life. I hated myself. I hated everyone and everything because I couldn’t make heads or tails of anything. I believed that my sole purpose in life was to make everyone else happy in order for me to be happy so I wanted to die everyday.

    BUT GOD!

    I allowed Him to step in from time to time and change my situation. However, I had a lot of growing to do. I STILL HAVE a lot of growing to do. One of the things I struggled against was depression up until the end of 2024. I still get sad, angry, etc. from time to time BUT GOD. I know now that I’m never really fighting my battles alone. God always sees me through. As for the hypocrites, which include myself at times (because even I fall short of God’s glory), please read the following verses.

    Mark 7:6-8 NIV

    “He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: “ ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.’ You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.””
    ‭‭Mark‬ ‭7‬:‭6‬-‭8‬ ‭NIV‬‬
    https://bible.com/bible/111/mrk.7.8.NIV