Awake. I’m awake right now. At this time of day. Wondering what you’re doing and when you’ll come my way. “It’s my first time, ” I think to myself. It’s my first time opening myself up in such a public way. I’m excited, but the excitement quickly turns to despair. Will you like me? Will I say the right things to make you stay? Or will you walk? So many thoughts.
So many questions that only God and time can answer. Again, I ask, “Will you stay?”
I ask as if I’ve never asked before. I turn to the heavens and ask God through my broken mirror, “Why did You make me like this? Why did You allow me to suffer so long that I find it so hard to trust?” My thoughts are like splattered paint. Wandering. Moving, according to their own will, and refusing to mold into any interpretable or recognizable image. Then I hear it. I hear Him. God says to me, “Peace, be with you.” He reminds me that I am who He needs me to be. A broken vessel being made new. A light for those who aren’t ready to know Him. I have been perfectly decorated. Shaped and placed to show God’s lost ones where our home is. A torch in the wilderness; lighting the path. Illuminating! I thank God for the peace He’s given.
And so, I sit here. Awake. I’m awake right now. At this time of day. Wondering what you’re doing and when you’ll come my way.
John 14:27 KJV
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
https://apps.microsoft.com/store/detail/bible-multi-version/9PPRWS532N91
Life With Sly 
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